I’m finding that one of the most difficult things to overcome in attempting to live a life of prayer is focusing on your own weakness. Truly, the number one thing that hinders me while I’m trying to spend time with the Lord worshipping, praying, even reading is trying not to focus on myself, what I’m not feeling, and what I’m not doing right. Its like the bug you keep wanting to swat, but it keeps buzzing around your head. You think that its’ dead after you lash out at it a few times, but again and again it comes.

So, how to overcome this seemingly constant hurdle? Well, we tell ourselves, we have to focus on the Lord. And when it gets off, keep focusing back on Him. Back and back we will turn our minds, lifting them from the pit of self-analyzing and the desert of self-trying to set them on things above where Christ is seated in restful righteousness, our heavenly advocate and true righteousness. This is all very good and necessary, but I’m coming to realize something even more helpful.

Jesus said in Matthew 5, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” I think this may be the key to getting back that heavenly mindset and keeping it there. Jesus is actually telling us we are blessed when we realize our own spiritual poverty, our own lack, our own need! When we recognize our weakness and complete dependence on Him always, that is more than half the battle already won. Let me explain.

In my case, and you can tell me yours, I begin to focus on myself when I’m expecting myself to say the right prayers and feel the right emotions in response to what I’m reading or thinking about in God. When I don’t feel the way I expected, or can’t predict what will happen in my heart, I get upset and begin to analyze why and what issues I have and basically try to “minister to myself” - completely putting my focus on myself, no longer abiding in the vine. I’m not saying all personal examination is bad, but most of us don’t have the problem of examining ourselves too little, we don’t examine His true greatness enough!

Instead of that, Jesus says in essence - Blessed are those who recognize they are in of themselves weak and completely dependent on God, because when they do that, then all of heaven is open to them! Why? Because they have ceased striving to “attain”, ceased trying to “formula-rize” everything, and began to tap into the true strength of Jesus. Instead of trying to figure out how to kill that annoying fly or jump that hurdle correctly, I see their very presence as a launching pad into access to the kingdom within me! As God said to Paul,  “My power is made perfect in your weakness.”

I want to search this out more and encourage you to do the same. Now, when I go to pray and encounter a colder heart than I expected or the revelation of my need to new depths, I’m going to rejoice! I’m going to say to that buzzing fly, to that constant hurdle - I rejoice in you, because He didn’t come for people to have it all together, but to bring the kingdom of heaven to those who truly need it!